To say I had been sitting with expectation of this trip for 18 months is an understatement. From the first moment when I learned that Tatiana was a Mexicana, I viewed meeting her family and visiting the places she had been raised, and she calls home, as a way to know her story more deeply.
That the context of this first meeting was the celebration of her mother Diana Villaseñor's 80th birthday, an event that would gather extended family, friends, and characters that had been a big part of Tatiana's life, made it impossibly exciting. As the week's approached, both Tatiana and I were becoming increasingly manic about where to put the energy of expectation. We knew that there were emotional risks all around, for Tatiana, for her son Sebastian, her mother, her brother Daniel, her ex-husband Arturo and family who we were able to visit, for my girlfriend, Brooke, who was traveling from Oklahoma to join me, and of course, for me.
An adopted child lives permanently in the middle of the adoptive family and the birth family. The child stands balancing the two worlds, each holding building blocks defining different aspects of the child. For me, it is complicated. I am an adopted adult mother to one biological child. I am a child born in Texas and raised in Mexico. I identify as Mexican even though I am by birth an American. The last eighteen months have been about reunion. I have integrated my birth father, Joe, as an essential part of my life. I would never want it any other way.